When the Words Won't Come

Have you ever sat down to write, stared at the blank page and then... nothing?

Not because you didn't want to write and not because you were out of ideas. The words just wouldn't come. The page stared back at you, white and empty, waiting for something you couldn't give it.

That feeling has a name. Writers call it writer's block, and every single writer gets it. Famous writers, brand-new writers, and me.

I want to tell you a little about my own writer's block, because mine has lasted a long, long time. And then I want to share the small, kind things that are helping me find my way back. Things you can use too, especially if you're ever going through something hard.

My writer's block

In 2020, something very sad happened in my life. My husband of twenty years - someone I loved with my whole heart - died.

After that, I couldn't write. And for a while, I couldn't read, either. Every time I open my laptop or looked at a manuscript draft, the words feel very far away, like they belong to a different person from a different life. I just couldn't re-connect with my notes, my characters, my worldbuilding files, or unfinished drafts.

For a while, all I could do was journal. It was still writing, I told myself, and it was still an excellent outlet for me to process all my big feelings, but it wasn't book writing. I knew I wanted to get back to the world of Wayfair and finish my books for you, but I worried it would never happen.

It has taken a lot of patience and a lot of gentleness, but slowly, the words are coming back. I think they almost always do.

Why hard things can freeze your writing

When something big and heavy is happening in your life - someone you love is sick, your parents are arguing, you're being left out at school, a beloved pet died, you had to move away from your friends - your heart becomes very heavy and full.

And when your heart is that full of real feelings, there isn't much room left for made-up ones. That's not because something is wrong with you, it's because your brain and heart are trying to take care of you.

If you can't write during a hard time, you aren't broken. You're not lazy. You are not "done" being a writer. You're just full. And full feelings can take a long time to process and work through.

And even when things start feeling okay again, you can sometimes feel guilty for getting on with your life. That guilt can trigger the writer's block all over again.

Small, kind ways back

You don't climb out of block all at once. You do it in tiny steps. Here are the steps that helped me - maybe they'll help you too.

1. Start impossibly small. Forget the whole story. Forget the whole chapter. Just write one sentence. If your book feels too hard, write it about anything: the weather, your breakfast, your cat. One sentence is a win.

2. Write the small stuff, not the big story. Describe your shoes. Make a list of every sound you can hear. Write about a snack you ate at your friend's house once. Low-stakes, ordinary writing warms up the engine without scaring it off. The big stories can wait until you're ready for them.

3. You're allowed to write the feeling. Sometimes the only thing that wants to come out is "I feel sad" or "I feel angry." Write that. It doesn't have to be a story. It doesn't have to be good. It can be something that's only for you.

4. Trick your brain by changing the container. If typing makes you feel stuck, try writing by hand in a notebook. Write in crayon or with colored pencils or markers. Doodle for a while. Make a list instead of a story. Scribble on a sticky note. Sometimes a brand-new container makes the words feel brand-new too.

5. It's okay NOT to write. Some days, the kindest thing you can do is close the notebook and go outside and touch grass, or snow, or sand. Build something or take a nap in a hammock. If you can concentrate on a book, read. If it's easier to listen to an audiobook, get lost in one. Re-reading old, comforting favorites can help. So can watching something familiar, like a cartoon you loved as a kid. Your stories and characters are patient. They'll wait for you as long as it takes.

6. Tell someone you trust. If something hard is going on, you don't have to carry it all by yourself. Telling a grown-up you trust (a parent, a teacher, a school counselor, a librarian, a coach) can help make the heavy thing feel a little lighter, even if only for a while. Big feelings are much easier to hold when someone else helps you hold them.

7. Keep the door open. You don't have to force the words. Just don't lock the door on them. Keep a notebook nearby. If a single line floats past, catch it. Then let yourself off the hook again. Little by little, the door opens wider on its own.

You're still a writer

Here's what I most want you to remember: you are a writer even on the days you can't write a single word.

A block isn't the end of your story, it's just a pause. And pauses end. Sometimes after a day, sometimes after a week, and sometimes (like mine) after a very long time. Whenever you're ready, the tiniest start counts.